You're not, cuz you're funny

Classic SF nonhipster commonly mistaken for a hipster by people who have never been to New York. Why?

Oh, there are so many reasons. 1.) He's funny. 2.) He's wearing khakis. (Yes, he is. Look harder.) 3.) He's into bikes and has a pierced (maybe gauged?) ear and it's not ironic. 4.) His hair is blond (maybe even dyed.)

If he ever went to Williamsburg he'd get his ass beat by girls wearing vintage wrong. Actually, scratch that--if he ever went to Williamsburg the real hipsters would cower in fear, bc one thing SF nonhipsters have over those puny New Yorkers is muscle mass. Score one for us.

Oh, the home team. How I love you.

(Via SFist)

Quote of the week

The thing about the guy who uttered the below quote is that he rocks. Rocks. I have a soft spot for him in my heart for all sorts of reasons, not least of which is that he enjoys the same organic market in Red Hook that one of my favorite nonhipster friends ever (gregory from NYC) took me to, and also that he, too, suffers the indignity of a day job. I feel your pain, dude.

And according to his interview, he's not getting much play, Greenpoint Brooklyners. So, mobilize nonhipster hotties, and give this man some love.



Broke-Ass Stuart: Are you a hipster?

Paul T. Alkaly: I’m too fat to be a hipster. I guess that would make me a fipster.



Read the whole interview.

P.S., Mr. Alkaly, if you lived in San Francisco everything would be cheaper (excet rent) and the nonhipster hoards would welcome you with their chipper, drunken, naturally blond come-ons in beautiful, debaucherous parks. Just a thought.